Powell retires

Big news from America is that Colon Powell’s resigned. Count her Sleazy Lies is going to get his job with either dog-faced neocon Paul Wolfowitz or Martin Boorman lookalike Richard Perle becoming new NSC chief.

I think Mars might be nice for the next four years.

Powell says he wants to spend more time with his family.

I don’t blame him; though, like any family, we have our differences, I’d rather hang around with them than with the likes of Bush, Cheney and Jack Straw.

But I pity the young relative who challenges the former secretary of state to a game of hide and seek.

We have preliminary indications that the pursuee is hiding in the broom closet under the stairs and a Special Forces team has been dispatched to the area. There may be some collateral damage but let the American people be assured that if the mop and bucket is knocked over then a team of our best young men will spend as long as it takes to clean up the damage.

However, satellite imagery seems to indicate that a young woman wearing a bright pink dress was seen rapidly running towards the rose bush in the garden. While the military are recommending that we saturate the area with defoliant, I favour winning the hearts and minds of our potential allies in the region. I propose an air drop of bones for the dog and a big fluffy ball for the cat.

Together I believe we can meet our objectives of living in an America where every former high-ranking government official can watch the Baseball in peace and quiet.