The Seamus Awards 2004

So, 2005 is upon us. I never thought I’d say those words, not because I thought the world was going to end at the end of the milenium, but because I never thought I’d live this long. That I am in a position to do so is a testament to how much more careful motorists are when driving than I am when cyling or being a pedestrian.

So here I am, in a position to say how ‘04 was for me. For people in hill tribes in Africa, Latin America and Asia it was just the same as any other year, and that’s not such a bad thing. But I live near near enough to the cutting edge of western civilisation to need a mask some days, and I’m gonna get even closer next year, as Cork, where I live is going to be European capital of culture next year. Dowtcha Bouy!

So here’s my awards for the year. I’m not going to make them so obscure that someone might email me and ask what his or her prize is. But you never know.

Best Film: Old Boy

Best Film in English: 21 Grams

Best Documentary Film: Fahrenheit 9/11

Best Irish Film: Bloom

Best European Film: Aaltra

Best Novel: Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell

Best Non-Fiction Book: So Shall we Reap, Colin Tudge

Most annoying publishing phenomonon: Lynne Truss

Best Album: (Rock) Franz Ferdinand

Best Album (Electronica) Talkie Walkie, Air

Best Single: Can’t Stand me Now, The Libertines

Best Concert: Pixies, Phoneix Park, June 12

Most Overrated Artist: The Streets

Best TV Drama: The Sopranos

Best Simpsons episode: The one where they go to jail with Michael Moore

Worst TV Show: How Clean is Your House?

Most Unjustly criticised TV Show : You are what you eat

Best Play: Crystal, Meridian, English Market, Cork

Best Website: www.Engrish.com

Best Blog: This one. Also, Chomsky

Best Magazine Article: That one by Ron Suskind

Worst Magazine Article: Observer article blaming vegetarians for Rainforest Depletion

Best Event: Birth of my niece, Aisling Enright, May 4th

Worst Avoidable Event: Re-election of Bush

Worst Unavoidable Event: Asian Earthquake

Most Missed Person: Marlon Brando

Least Missed Person: Charlie McCreevy (though he’s only going to Brussels)

Most Annoying Phenomonon (Ireland) Continuing depletion of Countryside

Most Annoying Phenomonon (British Isles) The Rise of Chavism

Most Annoying Phenomonon (Worldwide) Growth of the Religous Right in the US

Most worrying Development: Turkey accepted for talks to join EU

Most Exciting Sporting Event: Liverpool 3 Olmpiakos 1.

Biggest Sporting dissapointment: Irish athletes and Horse’s continuing inability to win Olympic Gold without taking drugs

Most Shocking TV Image: Torture at Abu Gharib Prison

Most Enthralling Real Life Soap Opera: Pete Doherty

Most Boring Real Life Soap Opera: David Blunkett

Most Encouraging Development (Ireland) Fianna Fail becoming Socialist (Only joking)

Most Encouraging development (Worldwide) Liberal Americans moving to Canada

Best New Legislation: Smoking Ban

Worst New Legislation: Threat to close nightclubs at 1.30

Best Goverment Minister: Dermot Ahern

Worst Government Minister: Micheal McDowell

Best Protest: Shannon, Bush Visit

Worst Protest: May Day, Patrick’s Bridge, Cork

That’s about all I can think of at the moment, but then my head is a bit addled from the whole Christmas thing. I’m off to clean my crystal ball with some eco-friendly cleaning fluid so I can see what 2005 has in store.