Mary & Me: This town's not big enough for both of us
Cork has a long and noble history of fighting against tyranny and oppression, particularly when it’s imposed upon the denizens of the city by outsiders, but this weekend a bunch of aliens from another planet arrived and discussed ways to take away many of our liberties and we let them do so without even registering a protest.
This isn’t a happy time in the city’s history. We’ve made a complete dog’s breakfast of hosting the European city of Culture so far, with events of genuine cultural importance priced beyond the reach of the majority of the town’s population, who have to make do with a few fireworks. Even the business community could only find €8 million to spend on culture, they still managed to spend €100 million on a hideous new development across from the bus station. Then the city overcharges for bin taxes, with the result that many people are leaving litter thrown all over the city.
Then the fucking PDs host their conference here! What have we ever done to hurt anyone to deserve this? It’s not that we’ve voted in any PD candidates in the last two elections, that’s for sure.
Last PD TD we had was Maureen Quill, who used to remind me of a rubber mask I had when I was a child. I had a friend who used to work as a waiter in Iasacs and when the unlovely Ms. Quill visited, instead of giving him a tip she kissed him on the cheek, the sort of thing that leaves you scarred for life.
To be fair to the people of Cork, it would have been really hard to protest against the presence of the PDs in our fair city, as they weren’t really in the city, but way out in Tivoli, which is a fair old trek out, even on a mild spring afternoon like Saturday last. As well as this, it’s getting harder and harder to organise any sort of demo here as the cops can arrest you for putting up signs advertising one, mainly thanks to the efforts of the PDs themselves.
I decided therefore that the town wasn’t big enough for both of us and went down to Crosshaven for the weekend. I could be unkind and say that it isn’t big enough for Mary Harney alone, but I’m not going to. After all, if Fatty Harney was advocating universal vegetarianism and Free Love, I wouldn’t be pointing out how grotesquely overweight she was, would I?
You could argue, of course, that with the nation facing a growing obesity problem having a Health Minister that looks like Jabba the Hutt sends out all the wrong signals, or that by spending so much on so-called “health care” which is really disease care and doing so little to promote overall good health is no way to care for people’s health.
You could also argue that Harney’s policy of bringing in the private sector to run hospitals won’t do anyone any good except the greedy capitalists that run them, and you’d have a lot of support. If you take a look at George Monbiot’s writings on the experiences of the Private Finance Initiative in the UK, you’d wonder how Fatty Harney could even consider such a thing. In one privately built hospital sewage was running from the taps, and it didn’t even save the taxpayer in the long run.
So why would she consider it? You have to ask why she’s so enamoured of Thatcherite ideology when Thatcher was a woman who hated our country and our people with such venom. Perhaps it’s that Harney hates herself because of her hideous body shape but that this hatred is repressed and comes out in as contempt for the traditional sense of community values that we’ve always had in this country and love for the dog-eat-dog ways of our neighbour.
When I was reading an obituary for Saul Bellow written by that other former left-winger Christopher Hitchens, I got the sense that conservatism is something that happens people when they get older, like prostate problems and a growing interest in Snooker. With the PDs, though, you get the impression that Mickey McD was trying to convert his playpen into a detention centre and Fatty Harney’s first words were “Low Taxes”
It’s good to see that we still have some checks and balances against the power of PDism in the country, as it looked like Mary Harney was backing down on the issue of who would build the second terminal at Dublin airport.
This doesn’t stop them from taking the credit for all the country’s accomplishments, though. At the start of the conference, Liz O Donnell held up copies of the Economist from 1988 and 1997, one describing Ireland as the poorest of the rich and another as Europe’s shining light.
Contemporary history 101: Between 1992 and 1997 Ireland was governed by two coalitions, one FF/Labour and the other FG/Labour/Democratic Left.
During the last election debate, Micheal Noonan memorably described Bertie as being like a cock that crowed in the morning and thought the sun was rising because of him.
Fatty Harney may be more like one of those overfed battery hens that can barely stand up, but she still gives herself the credit for everything. When she was trade and industry secretary she went round to every new business in the country to take credit for it’s existence, then when the global recession came along she thundered that this was no time to be “playing politics” with job losses. Can you believe the chutzpah of this woman?
Another time Mickey McD was arguing with Eamon Gilmore that when labour were in power the country was going to the IMF for help even though the help they needed was to save the country from the consequences of Fianna Fails errors, and when “we” were in power the country was the fastest growing economy in Europe, etc, etc. Thet reminded me of two kids arguing over whose dad had the biggest car.
McDowell’s recent humiliations haven’t dented his arrogance that much. He wants cops to be able to issue on-the-spot fines of €200 to people who urinate in the street. That might not be a lot of money to him, but to the sort of person who’s got nothing better to do than piss against a lamppost, it might be an awful lot, though I hardly see it as being that much of a detterent. Then again, many of the people who piss on Lamposts are Ross-O’Caroll-Kelly types who can afford it and might ask if they can have a dump as well for €500.
McDowell also wants the guards to be able to take a DNA sample without people’s consent. This raises the unpleasant prospect of Gardai being able to stick their dirty little fingers into your mouth to take a DNA sample just because they suspect that you might have been involved in a crime.
Quis custodes ipsos custodes?, you might be asking ( I sure as fuck was) Who’s going to stop Micheal McDowell from pissing all over our civil liberties? Some might say we live in a democracy and we could get rid of the fat bald smarmy little Nazi if we wanted, but then if you watched FG’s spokesman on “justice”, Jim O Keefe agree with everything McDowell said you realise that the choice is between a smart fascist blueshirt and a thick fascist blueshirt; or tweedledum and tweedledummer if you like.
No PD conference would be complete without a few digs at Sinn Fein, and on Friday McDowell was saying that the IRA were a glove puppet on Gerry Adams hand. I’ve always thought that Micheal O Leary had has hand up Mary Harney’s ass. I could go further and say he had his whole body up there, but that would be dragging myself down to the level of a woman who described people who protested against Henry Kissinger as being Hypocrites. I don’t want to let that happen to me. 
Harney: Fat
This isn’t a happy time in the city’s history. We’ve made a complete dog’s breakfast of hosting the European city of Culture so far, with events of genuine cultural importance priced beyond the reach of the majority of the town’s population, who have to make do with a few fireworks. Even the business community could only find €8 million to spend on culture, they still managed to spend €100 million on a hideous new development across from the bus station. Then the city overcharges for bin taxes, with the result that many people are leaving litter thrown all over the city.
Then the fucking PDs host their conference here! What have we ever done to hurt anyone to deserve this? It’s not that we’ve voted in any PD candidates in the last two elections, that’s for sure.
Last PD TD we had was Maureen Quill, who used to remind me of a rubber mask I had when I was a child. I had a friend who used to work as a waiter in Iasacs and when the unlovely Ms. Quill visited, instead of giving him a tip she kissed him on the cheek, the sort of thing that leaves you scarred for life.
To be fair to the people of Cork, it would have been really hard to protest against the presence of the PDs in our fair city, as they weren’t really in the city, but way out in Tivoli, which is a fair old trek out, even on a mild spring afternoon like Saturday last. As well as this, it’s getting harder and harder to organise any sort of demo here as the cops can arrest you for putting up signs advertising one, mainly thanks to the efforts of the PDs themselves.
I decided therefore that the town wasn’t big enough for both of us and went down to Crosshaven for the weekend. I could be unkind and say that it isn’t big enough for Mary Harney alone, but I’m not going to. After all, if Fatty Harney was advocating universal vegetarianism and Free Love, I wouldn’t be pointing out how grotesquely overweight she was, would I?
You could argue, of course, that with the nation facing a growing obesity problem having a Health Minister that looks like Jabba the Hutt sends out all the wrong signals, or that by spending so much on so-called “health care” which is really disease care and doing so little to promote overall good health is no way to care for people’s health.
You could also argue that Harney’s policy of bringing in the private sector to run hospitals won’t do anyone any good except the greedy capitalists that run them, and you’d have a lot of support. If you take a look at George Monbiot’s writings on the experiences of the Private Finance Initiative in the UK, you’d wonder how Fatty Harney could even consider such a thing. In one privately built hospital sewage was running from the taps, and it didn’t even save the taxpayer in the long run.
So why would she consider it? You have to ask why she’s so enamoured of Thatcherite ideology when Thatcher was a woman who hated our country and our people with such venom. Perhaps it’s that Harney hates herself because of her hideous body shape but that this hatred is repressed and comes out in as contempt for the traditional sense of community values that we’ve always had in this country and love for the dog-eat-dog ways of our neighbour.
When I was reading an obituary for Saul Bellow written by that other former left-winger Christopher Hitchens, I got the sense that conservatism is something that happens people when they get older, like prostate problems and a growing interest in Snooker. With the PDs, though, you get the impression that Mickey McD was trying to convert his playpen into a detention centre and Fatty Harney’s first words were “Low Taxes”
It’s good to see that we still have some checks and balances against the power of PDism in the country, as it looked like Mary Harney was backing down on the issue of who would build the second terminal at Dublin airport.
This doesn’t stop them from taking the credit for all the country’s accomplishments, though. At the start of the conference, Liz O Donnell held up copies of the Economist from 1988 and 1997, one describing Ireland as the poorest of the rich and another as Europe’s shining light.
Contemporary history 101: Between 1992 and 1997 Ireland was governed by two coalitions, one FF/Labour and the other FG/Labour/Democratic Left.
During the last election debate, Micheal Noonan memorably described Bertie as being like a cock that crowed in the morning and thought the sun was rising because of him.
Fatty Harney may be more like one of those overfed battery hens that can barely stand up, but she still gives herself the credit for everything. When she was trade and industry secretary she went round to every new business in the country to take credit for it’s existence, then when the global recession came along she thundered that this was no time to be “playing politics” with job losses. Can you believe the chutzpah of this woman?
Another time Mickey McD was arguing with Eamon Gilmore that when labour were in power the country was going to the IMF for help even though the help they needed was to save the country from the consequences of Fianna Fails errors, and when “we” were in power the country was the fastest growing economy in Europe, etc, etc. Thet reminded me of two kids arguing over whose dad had the biggest car.
McDowell’s recent humiliations haven’t dented his arrogance that much. He wants cops to be able to issue on-the-spot fines of €200 to people who urinate in the street. That might not be a lot of money to him, but to the sort of person who’s got nothing better to do than piss against a lamppost, it might be an awful lot, though I hardly see it as being that much of a detterent. Then again, many of the people who piss on Lamposts are Ross-O’Caroll-Kelly types who can afford it and might ask if they can have a dump as well for €500.
McDowell also wants the guards to be able to take a DNA sample without people’s consent. This raises the unpleasant prospect of Gardai being able to stick their dirty little fingers into your mouth to take a DNA sample just because they suspect that you might have been involved in a crime.
Quis custodes ipsos custodes?, you might be asking ( I sure as fuck was) Who’s going to stop Micheal McDowell from pissing all over our civil liberties? Some might say we live in a democracy and we could get rid of the fat bald smarmy little Nazi if we wanted, but then if you watched FG’s spokesman on “justice”, Jim O Keefe agree with everything McDowell said you realise that the choice is between a smart fascist blueshirt and a thick fascist blueshirt; or tweedledum and tweedledummer if you like.
No PD conference would be complete without a few digs at Sinn Fein, and on Friday McDowell was saying that the IRA were a glove puppet on Gerry Adams hand. I’ve always thought that Micheal O Leary had has hand up Mary Harney’s ass. I could go further and say he had his whole body up there, but that would be dragging myself down to the level of a woman who described people who protested against Henry Kissinger as being Hypocrites. I don’t want to let that happen to me.
posted by seamus @ 4:15 pm
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